funniest-travel-quotes-ever

One should never take itself too serious. And travelling is a way to broaden your horizons. That’s why we are more than sure that you will enjoy these funny, but still as inspiring, travel quotes we collected for you! Enjoy the top 50 funniest travel quotes but somehow still inspiring:

1. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

2. “Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.” – Charles Kuralt

3. “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport.” – Douglas Adams

4. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” – Unknown

5. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” – Al Boliska

6. “The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.” – G.K. Chesterton 

7. “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

8. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” — Al Gore

9. “Travel like Ghandi, with simple clothes, open eyes and an uncluttered mind.” – Rick Steves

10. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

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11. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

12. “The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

13. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

14. “There’s only four ways to get unraveled; One is to sleep and the other is travel.” – Jim Morrison

15. “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman

16. “When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!” – Dane Cook

17. “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.” – Lewis Black

18. “A child on a farm sees a plane fly by overhead and dreams of a faraway place A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of home.” – Carl Burns

19. “I can’t think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.” – Bill Bryson

20. “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home.” — James Michener

50funniest-travel-quotes

21. “When you come to a fork in the road….take it” – Yogi Berra

22. “I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.” – George Bernard Shaw

23. “Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.” – Unknown

24. “People complain there’re delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years”- Louis C.K.

25. “I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Caskie Stinnett

26. “Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey.” – E. Heine

27. “Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

28. “If at some point you don’t ask yourself “What have I gotten myself into?” then you’re not doing it right. – Roland Gau

29. “Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” – David Mitchell

30. “Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.” – Paul Theroux

50funniest-travel-quotes

31. A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” – John Steinbeck

32. “To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley

33. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin

34. “To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.” – Philip Andrew Adams

35. When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” – Helen Hayes

36. Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck

37. “An adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.” – G.K. Chesterton

38. “Climbing K2 or floating the Grand Canyon in an inner tube. There are some things one would rather have done than do.” – Edward Abbey

39. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places”. – Henny Youngman

40 “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish Proverb

50funniest-travel-quotes

41. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money”. – Unknown

42. “You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

43. “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey

44. “Airline food is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get — chicken, steak, anything — has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.” – Ellen de Generes

45. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

46. “Travel’ is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in the mid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease – its scientific name is travelitis furiosus – is carried by a germ called prosperity.” – George Mikes

47. “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.” – Emile Ganest

48. “There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous.” – Theo Cowan

49. “In America there are two classes of travel — first class, and with children.” – Robert Benchley

50. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” – Susan Sontag

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